Today is a bad day... I just couldn't go to church. I had no idea of what I would say or how I would react if someone talked to me about this and knew that I would make myself crazy thinking everyone was looking at me and wispering.

So instead I'm kind of moping around the house, trying to get photos for stuff put up on craigslist and just generally going between crying and wanting to just trash the place. Unfortunately, it wouldn't even show if I did, so what good would it do. I could take the inspector and point out one of the bazzillion problems in the house and point and say... see that? see that? *I* did that *on purpose*!!!!

At least the move will be an upgrade. It HAS to be because my house is not legal to rent.... something about the wall with no panneling and exposed 120v wires.... the stairs to the basement that end about 2 feet off the ground causing you to either jump or step down on cinderblocks... oh, there were a lot of things the realtor said made it impossible to rent this place... so I guess I can at least say that I will be living in a place that should be much less likely to kill me when this is all said and done.